i want a hot body but i also want hot wings

(via justanotherblogtoenjoy)

I hate having unpleasant dreams


Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image

(via anothercleverjedimindtrick)

Come on, honey, this house is a fresh start for our family!
White dads in horror stories (via mashamorevna)

(Source: start-missing-everybody, via anothercleverjedimindtrick)


when you pushing out the fart

then you realize it aint fart


(via anothercleverjedimindtrick)

Consider that you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not ‘you’. The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.
(via we-are-star-stuff)

(Source: wallflower-musings, via we-are-star-stuff)